i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need water and some morals
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
