just tell him i said nine months
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize