i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
