Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
