I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
