you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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