Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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