Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize