you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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