Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
