I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
