If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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