My room smells like vodka and shame
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
