Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
