Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
