If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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