i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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