it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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