You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
