I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we're so committed to being not committed
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