Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
