she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize