I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
