omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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