who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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