I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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