were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
