If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
No subtext here. People are naked.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
