i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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