dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
