The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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