Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
