So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
