youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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