its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize