So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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