dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
