I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize