Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
