I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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