Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
