well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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