physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize