She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
