I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Still dying that you shit outside
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
