I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
did i walk over a car last night?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
