Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
