This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
