margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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