This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
