Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
