i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
