Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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