Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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