This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
