May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
