so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize