Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
