i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
