it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
