I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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