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i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He shit in the fireplace
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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