I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize