He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
