Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
