It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
