Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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