Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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