My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize