Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
