Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
