He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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