xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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