I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
