4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm passing your future prison.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
