Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
