i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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