you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
